Tired of it all

I am so tired of it all. I refuse to give up on my dreams. Every day I get older is another day that I grow farther a part from becoming everything I ever wanted to be since I was four and another day closer to a man who just settled. Again, I refuse.

Where does life take us in our own minds that we become so jaded that we lose track of everything we swore we'd do? I can't take it another day. I understand I can't change how someone else feels but once upon a time I was something and I knew that person. Right now, I can't say I know me at all and really the only thing I can say is that I am a robot. The only thing that makes me human at this point is my Son. Besides that, I am fully automated. I work Monday through Friday from 7 am until 3:30 pm, I hang out with the same people because I can't rely on too many other people, I drink in excess on the weekends, and at the end of every day I turn another page full of lost opportunities to pursue my real passions.

I know this comes off as borderline depression but it's really not like that. It's just the realization of things that need to change in order to fulfill the promises made by and to a stupid boy who didn't know much about the world. I owe that to my sons future dreams.

"Victory is always possible for the person who refuses to stop fighting." - Napoleon Hill